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The Pessimist's Companion

by Ginger Wildheart

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1.
With my legs around my tail And an ill wind in my sail I was out before the daylight to the caravan I could have said goodbye But I didn’t even try I’ve always been a solitary man What I think I’m trying to say Is that I’d like to change my ways And I only dare to say it ‘cos it’s true So I’m asking, in my way “Is it okay if I stay?” That’s not something I just say out of the blue You are the reason, it’s true I didn’t have much to do with it I’m blaming you, wae’aye Oh you are the reason, it’s true I didn’t have much to do with it I’m blaming you. Why aye oh you. I’ve been drinking every night I’ve been ending up in fights Causing trouble left and right like I used to do Any Tom or Dick or Dave I’d send them to an early grave If they ever dared behave that way to you What I think I’m trying to say Is “I’ll get out of your way... and you only need to say the word, I’m gone” Out from underneath your feet I’ll be quiet and discreet I’ll be labelled obsolete before too long. (chorus) I’m still brash and I’m still bold I still don’t do as I’m told I’m just getting far too old to be a bachelor I’ve got fewer friends around They’ve mostly died or settled down It’s about time that I found my better half (bridge) (chorus)
2.
The hardest head is the softest body part And the hardest heart is an easy steal Now it’s been said I’ve been something of an albatross And all you got was the shitty end of the deal I love you so much girl, that I’m leaving My wicked ways are getting out of hand I love you so much girl that I’m leaving I’ll come back better, I hope you understand ‘Cos a love like yours deserves a better man In years from now, when you forget how I used to be The memory will still follow me round Morning, noon and night, and I’ll l fight him every day ‘Cos with the beast at bay we’ll be safe and sound
3.
In Reverse 03:27
It’s cold again. Sweating hell in the middle of the night I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel but I’ve a feeling this ain’t right But it’s warm and safe over on your side I don’t want to bother you again tonight Your breath is deep and your sheets are dry And I’m cold again, with my t-shirt wet with toxic sweat Well I know I said that I’d try my best What a terrible lie to maintain On perilous tracks stuck in reverse Southbound on a downtown train I’m cold again. I crossed every T, I dotted all the I’s. Followed each page with diligence, ate every bitter little pill of advice. The prescription they gave I’m not sure is mine. Is the Doctor honestly stuck for time? I’m told again that it’s gonna get worse if the meds are to work. And while the witch trial carries on undeterred All the witches cower in shame Well the whole thing feels a little unrehearsed And now I’m stuck in reverse again. You’re cold again, funny how it felt like we’d all thawed out A body won’t find any fire when the mind is trying to dry the matches out “it’s a brand new you” the analyst chimed Well anything new get’s old with time And cold is then just a holding pen till the heat kicks in But a year on this stuff is time enough For it to do what it’s supposed to do I was happy to say we shared this train And I was stuck in reverse with you But now we’re both going backwards too.
4.
You’re here without invite because the sticky tape and glue Didn’t help put it all back together again, like it used to do You saw my defences down, through and unguarded open door And then you walked right in and made your self at home, next to me on the floor. But I will let you in my friend And I will take it on the chin And you will let me down again I was guilty of looking away, and that’s when he made off with me I didn’t expect that he’d see this as an opportunity. So who was I trying to kid? I always knew he’d be along. He’s summoned when you fix a problem by saying that there isn’t one. But I will let you in my friend And I will take it on the chin And you will let me down again The smile was a fight sometimes, with just a script to keep it straight You don’t get to be a professional, you just become a heavyweight But I will let you in my friend And I will take it on the chin And you will let me down again
5.
No Regrets 03:30
I know your leaving is too long overdue; For too long I've had nothin' to show to you Goodbye dry eyes I watched your plane fade west of the moon It feels strange to walk away alone There's no regrets No tears goodbye I don't want you back We'd only cry again Say goodbye again The hours that were yours echo like empty rooms The thoughts we’d share I now keep alone I woke last night and spoke to you not thinking you were gone And it felt strange to lie awake alone There's no regrets No tears goodbye I don't want you back We'd only cry again Say goodbye again Our friends are trying to turn my nights to day A strange face, a new place to keep the ghosts away Now just beyond the darkest hour and just behind the dawn It feels strange to lead my life alone There's no regrets No tears goodbye I don't want you back We'd only cry again Say goodbye again
6.
Detachment 03:01
There is a harrowing wind it’s blowing through this calm Where the past meets the present day One of the guests left the door ajar Some opportunist tries to keep his options free Then out of nowhere negative worlds collide And the beast is free Of a thousand things I’ll never know for sure I know that I don’t wanna live in your world no more I don’t wanna live in your world no more There’s not a man alive I wouldn’t leave for dead There’s not a popular lie I’d take over the word of a friend instead I see promises made and broken easily If I could count my friends on a single hand, that’s alright with me I don’t want to make peace, don’t want to settle the score I don’t wanna live in your world no more I don’t wanna live in your world no more If I’ve got to bite I’ll snap down tight Keep the snakes away from my door I still feel the same as I did before I don’t wanna live in your world no more I don’t wanna live in your world no more If I’ve got to kill by God I will To be rid of this pitiful war Don’t want to live in your world no more
7.
Walking through this sticky water How I got here is anyone’s guess All alone, I turn to stone I’m just as shocked as anyone else Isn’t there a better love for people that we appear to be? We deserve the kind of love where we get a piece. So we all join hands and hold on tight You are my day, you are my light You’ve been knocked down and there you stand If you stick around I might stand a chance of breaking through this. What’s the chances? Every year I’m more proud that we’re there, And we mean it...course we mean it, Why else be seen around here? Without a better love, for people like we are made to feel? You deserve a better love, your piece of the deal. So we all join hands and hold on tight You are my day, you are my knight We’ve been knocked down and here we stand If you stick around I might stand a chance But without you here to prove we can We’re a long time scared, we’re a long time damned What would I do here if you couldn’t see me winning? (instrumental) So we all join hands and hold on tight You are my day, you are my knight We’ve been knocked down and here we stand If you stick around I might stand a chance But without you here to prove we can We’re a long time scared, we’re a long time damned What would I do here if you couldn’t see me winning?
8.
Every morning when I’d take my walk I sat upon a throne of straw and watched the sea as it kissed the shore I would say I’d feel detached But unless you’ve read Oliver Sacks you may well misinterpret that And I don’t mean to assume I’ve just made that mistake before To become immune you first must be infected Their reactions are not to be predicted Oh, if I’d known where the wind would turn Would it have even made the slightest bit of a difference? I assume we both know it isn’t really war This road leads up, up, up This road leads down Can I just stay right here with you around? When his time is up, up, so abrupt They bring the gavel down Can I just stay right here with you around? You and I are justified Feeling peaceful deep inside where my ambition used to hide Where my aggression now resides But even momentary peace is a glimpse through cleaner glass Of what might come to pass I don’t mean to assume but I must have served my time In this barren stretch of bleak incarceration Those seasons spent in deviation sown To the icy, lifeless ground Could it be they show timely shift in fortune? Is this the point where we throw the burden down? (chorus)
9.
While the city is asleep there are the tiniest weeds breaking through And while we’re learning to walk they go unnoticed right under our feet Empty and dry, the husks of our society ride the bus Or the heavy traffic to work Heads pointed forwards, like there’s something to see And in time we’re at the mercy of the mightiest vine Rusty wire or garden rose The rain makes time for colouring both So God only knows If rusty wire or garden rose Is the vicious vine that clings to your clothes But it’s got you now, and it won’t let you go. The firmly employed are waging a war to avoid engaging Their faces locked to a screen of information Supplied by the team that design The disconnection of distractible minds (chorus) A fellow could lose his faith Given the human race’s penchant To court people and places that are flashing neon mistakes So cast away your sins, believe in anything If it parts those brambles and bids you freedom from being tangled again. And just so you know, that when you hit the concrete That you’re not alone Tethered here by spurs unknown (chorus)
10.
I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna work on this song no more I’ve barely necked me breakfast and me nerves are already raw I’ve a mind to screw this paper up And chuck it in the bin on the floor Cos I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna work on this song no more My Tanglewood got pregnant with another song that wanted to live So I made a pot of Hot Java Lava, and I tried to get positive The caffeine ploughed some memories out They were darker than the brew Now I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna go back there with you (chorus) Well, I tried to drive the anger out so I got into the car Where the writing on the rear view sent me back to my guitar It’s said “objects in the mirror are closer than they appear” And I don’t want to look back when the road ahead is clear (chorus) Sometimes there are melodies that will not leave your brain And sometimes there are memories that should not be unchained But always there are choices, which ones to entertain (musical interlude) And I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna go back there again. (chorus)
11.
I wanna be your vacuum cleaner Breathing in your dust I wanna be your Ford Cortina I will never rust If you like your coffee hot Let me be your coffee pot You call the shots I wanna be yours I wanna be your raincoat For those frequent rainy days I wanna be your dreamboat When you want to sail away Let me be your teddy bear Take me with you anywhere I don’t care I wanna be yours I wanna be your electric meter I will not run out I wanna be the electric heater You’ll get cold without I wanna be your setting lotion Hold your hair in deep devotion I don’t wanna be hers I wanna be yours I don’t care I wanna be yours
12.
Step by step, bit by bit To this day I’ve not found a place where the pieces fit Little by little, piece by piece I believe that I will someday be released ’Till then I will be gone, real gone I’ll keep moving on in sweet wanderlust Ah he’s knock knock knocking again “Praise be” Knock, knock knocking again Till we all hit the bottle again One by one, two by three Itching to leave for another place I don’t wanna be Lyric by lyric, sheet by sheet I can feel unwelcome earth beneath my feet So I’ll just keep on keeping on I’ll keep moving on in sweet wanderlust
13.
First there is the word, a promise from cradle to grave To protect and to serve, and to honour the vow that you made And then there is the lie. When you said they’d be safe here at night You neglected to tell them the evil’s already inside, with them. There is a house that doesn’t allow the sunshine in. First there was a scream, the loss of control at the start The murder of the dream but you lived with the cold in your heart When accusations came did you run out of people to blame? Did you tell everyone that the building was wearing the shame for your sins? There is a house that don’t let liability in. There is a house that poisons the tenants inside I still have my doubts there’ll be anyone left there alive They say that it’s supposed to be haunted by a turbulent ghost Some violent spirit who ran out of excuses to throw at the wind There is a house that doesn’t allow the sunshine in.
14.
Stalemate 02:13
It was all going fine, we were biding our time We were working like camels, but on the subject of animals The elephant loomed in the back of the room It was a matter of time, Put it out of your mind, like people do But will you look at the clock! All you ever wanted was a decent conversation, didn’t you? All we ever avoided was a decent conversation, didn’t we? There was a time and a space for to tidy the place For us to change all the locks, put the mess in a box But instead we sat like a couple of twats Fixing sweet sod all ‘cept wa gaze on the wall Watching the hands spin around on the clock All you ever wanted was a decent conversation, didn’t you? All we ever avoided was a decent conversation, didn’t we? Now it’s a little too late, all the fruit’s out of date It tends to get stale, mate, when avoiding confrontation But waste is waste when you get sick of the taste Yeah, the summer was a bit rushed The weather didn’t help much So we needed space, least that’s what we thought And now we’ve got more space than an astronaut Sailing way above the cloud, Azimov would be proud You want a lot more freedom? Well, there’s the outcome. Careful what you wish for All you ever wanted was a decent conversation, didn’t you? All we ever avoided was a decent conversation, didn’t we?
15.
There is word going round There’s curse upon this town I’ve seen families struck down and disregarded. Where the twain never meet At the dark end of the street Where the wretched find peace in the darkness I’ve heard things, many things Some men never seen again It’s the stuff you don’t mention in earnest In the shadows they wait. Now a burden on the state Left to self medicate into darkness Ah, home. Where the wild dogs roam Is there anybody there? Does society still care? Or are they lost in the glare of the circus? Out of sight, out of mind, leaving mindless people blind. May a peace come in time to the restless. I will not curb my bite, I was dragged into this fight I’ll be fucked if I’ll carry on in silence Mine’s the face, mine’s the voice of those who never had a choice May the wretched rejoice in this darkness May the restless find peace in their darkness

credits

released April 22, 2022

Producer: Dave Draper
Players: Ginger Wildheart -Drums, Bass, Guitars, Percussion, Vocals / John Kettle - Bouzouki, Mandolin, Guitars. / Emily Ewing - Backing Vocals / Matthew Colley - Piano, Hammond, Keys. / Maurice Hipkiss - Pedal Steel. / Dave Draper - Guitars, Programming.
Studio Personnel: Dave Draper, John Kettle, Jason Edwards
Publishing: Wixen UK Ltd
'No Regrets' written by Tom Rush and 'I Wanna Be Yours' written by John Cooper Clarke

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